I've slacked off a great deal from my TV watching, but now that I'm curbing my Internet usage (yes, the blog suffers, but, well, I apologize to the three of you still interested), I have unearthed a few shows that are now firmly ensconced in the rotation, along with a few others looking to make their way in. Let's take a look at them, starting with the most manly and working our way down to the sad, girly stuff that a 33-year-old man watches intently.
* American Pickers, History Channel, Mondays, 9 p.m.
I came up with a revku to describe my initial thoughts on this show:
They sure find cool stuff
When they fleece the elderly
It bothers me some
The basic premise of the show is that these two guys in Iowa go around and try to find sale-worthy treasures in people's trash. Sometimes people call them, and other times they're just driving around, see a big shed, and decide to pay someone a visit. On the first show I saw, they stopped by an old guy's house and they got him to sell a samurai sword he had brought back from World War II for some ridiculously low price. I felt bad for the old guy for some reason. I guess I wanted him to hand that down to someone in his family, but maybe he had no family to hand it down to and it was just taking up space in his shed. Whatever the case, it bummed me out. But I kept watching. And I'm still enjoying it, though I enjoy it more when they visit people who have acres and acres of junk they've amassed over decades and they refuse to part with it. Or, as I like to call it, a glimpse into my future.
*Pawn Stars, History Channel, Mondays, 10 p.m.
The most annoying thing about this show is that I find myself over-enunciating the title so people don't think that one of my favorite shows is "Porn Stars." I'm trying to maintain an image here.
Anyway, this show follows a family-run pawn shop in Las Vegas. It's essentially "Antiques Roadshow" for men who aren't comfortable watching a show with "Antiques" in the title. And with more interesting people doing the appraising. Plus, while the joy of "Antiques Roadshow" (not that an incredibly masculine man like myself would watch such a show) is seeing the reaction of people when the item they bring in is worth more than they could have ever dreamed, "Pawn Stars" is best when people come swaggering into the pawn shop thinking they have gold when they don't.
*Pit Boss, Animal Planet, Saturdays, 10 p.m.
I resisted the urge to watch any of the approximately 40 gajillion shows about little people (and, believe me, it's hard not to watch a show titled "Little Chocolatiers"), but this one finally got me. It's about Shorty Rossi, a reformed criminal (spent 10 years in jail for a gang-related attempted murder) who now runs both a little person talent agency and a pit bull rescue group. It took me a few episodes to figure all that out, because I kept coming in in the middle of things, but now that Shorty's doing the press rounds, I think I've got it all figured out. And I'm still entertained by it.
* Cake Boss, TLC, Mondays, 9 p.m.
Would I watch this if I didn't work two blocks away from Carlo's Bake Shop? Probably, since I also watch "Ace of Cakes" and I don't work near Charm City Cakes. But having been there and seen a little bit of the Jersey attitude on display a few times makes it that much more enjoyable. What is slightly less enjoyable is waiting on a long line almost every time I'm in Carlo's, but, hey, you take the good with the bad.
*My Life as Liz, MTV, Mondays, 10:30 p.m.
I suppose if I had the gene for embarrassment, I would be embarrassed to admit that I watch this show. But, as a 33-year-old man who has pursued and obtained photos with four "Saved by the Bell" cast members and who gets a little bummed when a season of "Degrassi: The Next Generation" ends, embarrassment is just not something that comes up often in regard to my TV-watching habits. So, I'm readily admitting that, yes, I'm watching a some-kind-of-reality show about a teenaged girl navigating high school in Texas. So be it.
As you can see, Mondays are a busy TV night, which is why I'm hesitant to become fully invested in the new season of Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp on VH1. Well, that and (a) they're stretching "celebrity" thinner than ever and (b) I find it difficult to accept that Nicole Eggert is on "Celebrity Fit Club." But I will likely be sucked into that incredibly macho show in the weeks to come, too.
So, when you grow frustrated by the lack of posts here, know that I'm spending my time watching these programs. And then say a prayer for me.
Showing posts with label reality TV. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reality TV. Show all posts
8.31.2009
Great Moments in TV History
It's hard to describe the feeling of discovering that the season premiere of "Tool Academy 2" has somehow snuck up on you (I suspect the season started earlier than hoped because of the abrupt cancellations of "Megan Wants a Millionaire" and "I Love Money 3"). And as great as that feeling was, it was usurped by the feeling brought on by the first ejected Tool refusing to leave the Academy and the host screaming at him to get out. It has been awhile since I laughed out loud at something on TV, but this did the trick.
Thank you, VH-1. And thank you, Tools.
Thank you, VH-1. And thank you, Tools.
8.20.2009
Patting Myself on the Back
When I saw the headline "Reality TV C0ntestant Sought in Death of CA Model," my first thought was, "Well, it's gotta be one of the guys from 'Megan Wants a Millionaire.'"
Right on the money with that one. I'm also going to go out on a limb and say he won't be the last guy on that show under police suspicion in the future.
Right on the money with that one. I'm also going to go out on a limb and say he won't be the last guy on that show under police suspicion in the future.
12.26.2008
The Year in Celebrity Photos, Vol. 3
4. Kathleen Edwards, New York, NY
This picture is doubly special because it was the next-to-last photo taken before Zankel Hall security shut down the picture taking because "We don't allow pictures to be taken here." Bad news for the third member of our party who was blocked from taking a photo with Ms. Edwards after two of us (and perhaps a half-dozen before us) had already been taken care of. But on a positive note, he now has a signed "Asking for Flowers" album (an album, or CD, or mp3, or whatever that you should, as I've pointed out before, own) with a picture of him and Ms. Edwards as stick figures, in which the stick figure of Ms. Edwards is giving the finger to the unseen security guard. Classic.
3. Billy Redden, Parsippany, NJ
To think I almost passed up the opportunity to have a photo taken with the banjo-playing boy from "Deliverance." Crazy. This would have been a great Holiday Greeting because I would guess that if I sent it (with some cropping), I would have achieved 100% "who-the-hell-is-that?" clearance among the recipients. I could've held a contest for people to guess who it is. Or I could've tipped my hand and written "Hope you don't squeal like a pig this holiday season." How classy would that have been? Alas.
2. Corey Haim, Parsippany, NJ
This enables some lucky Holiday Greeting recipients and collectors to complete their "Photos with James and the Two Coreys" collection, and enables me to complete my "Photos with Me and the Three Main Actors in the Erotic Thriller 'Blown Away'" collection (and if you didn't know that that movie stars the two Coreys and Nicole Eggert, shame on you). I waited on a line for about two hours to get into the main pit at the Chiller Theatre convention and then went directly to Mr. Haim's table to find he had no line at all (the only reason the main pit line was so long was because Linda Hamilton's line wrapped around most of the pit). So I forked over my money to Mr. Haim's mother (sign you watch too much reality TV: you know what Corey Haim's mother looks like), Mr. Haim said something I didn't understand about the eagles on my shirt, and this magical photo was taken. Trivia fact: in my photos with the two Coreys, they are both wearing sunglasses. And we were nowhere near sunlight in either of them.
1. Maureen McCormick, Ridgewood, NJ
Another coup for Holiday Greeting enthusiasts looking to complete the Greg and Marcia Brady series. This photo was taken at the end of yet another long wait on a line, this time at a book signing at Bookends in Ridgewood, NJ. I had gone to get a couple of books signed, but I also hoped to get Ms. McCormick to sign a football "Oh, my nose! Maureen McCormick." 'Twas not meant to be, as the rules of the signing were that she was only signing books. This was confirmed a few people in front of me when a trio of guys were shut down from having their photos and Marcia Brady doll signed, so I didn't push the issue. I thought about hanging around to see if she would be willing to sign the football after the event was over, but that would've required me to stand outside the store by myself with a football in my hand. There was a time in my life when that sort of behavior would have seemed normal. But these are my 30s. At least I got the photo.
So that's it for the celebrity photos in 2008. Who knows what next year will bring? Will the Holiday Greeting be retired? Will I get a photo with Gary Busey? Stay tuned.
This picture is doubly special because it was the next-to-last photo taken before Zankel Hall security shut down the picture taking because "We don't allow pictures to be taken here." Bad news for the third member of our party who was blocked from taking a photo with Ms. Edwards after two of us (and perhaps a half-dozen before us) had already been taken care of. But on a positive note, he now has a signed "Asking for Flowers" album (an album, or CD, or mp3, or whatever that you should, as I've pointed out before, own) with a picture of him and Ms. Edwards as stick figures, in which the stick figure of Ms. Edwards is giving the finger to the unseen security guard. Classic.
3. Billy Redden, Parsippany, NJ
To think I almost passed up the opportunity to have a photo taken with the banjo-playing boy from "Deliverance." Crazy. This would have been a great Holiday Greeting because I would guess that if I sent it (with some cropping), I would have achieved 100% "who-the-hell-is-that?" clearance among the recipients. I could've held a contest for people to guess who it is. Or I could've tipped my hand and written "Hope you don't squeal like a pig this holiday season." How classy would that have been? Alas.
2. Corey Haim, Parsippany, NJ
This enables some lucky Holiday Greeting recipients and collectors to complete their "Photos with James and the Two Coreys" collection, and enables me to complete my "Photos with Me and the Three Main Actors in the Erotic Thriller 'Blown Away'" collection (and if you didn't know that that movie stars the two Coreys and Nicole Eggert, shame on you). I waited on a line for about two hours to get into the main pit at the Chiller Theatre convention and then went directly to Mr. Haim's table to find he had no line at all (the only reason the main pit line was so long was because Linda Hamilton's line wrapped around most of the pit). So I forked over my money to Mr. Haim's mother (sign you watch too much reality TV: you know what Corey Haim's mother looks like), Mr. Haim said something I didn't understand about the eagles on my shirt, and this magical photo was taken. Trivia fact: in my photos with the two Coreys, they are both wearing sunglasses. And we were nowhere near sunlight in either of them.
1. Maureen McCormick, Ridgewood, NJ
Another coup for Holiday Greeting enthusiasts looking to complete the Greg and Marcia Brady series. This photo was taken at the end of yet another long wait on a line, this time at a book signing at Bookends in Ridgewood, NJ. I had gone to get a couple of books signed, but I also hoped to get Ms. McCormick to sign a football "Oh, my nose! Maureen McCormick." 'Twas not meant to be, as the rules of the signing were that she was only signing books. This was confirmed a few people in front of me when a trio of guys were shut down from having their photos and Marcia Brady doll signed, so I didn't push the issue. I thought about hanging around to see if she would be willing to sign the football after the event was over, but that would've required me to stand outside the store by myself with a football in my hand. There was a time in my life when that sort of behavior would have seemed normal. But these are my 30s. At least I got the photo.
So that's it for the celebrity photos in 2008. Who knows what next year will bring? Will the Holiday Greeting be retired? Will I get a photo with Gary Busey? Stay tuned.
The Year in Celebrity Pictures, Vol. 2
8. Lester "Beetlejuice" Green, Fairfield, NJ
Someday, I will be destitute. That day may come soon or it may come a couple decades from now. But it will almost certainly come. And when it does, I will desperately hope for $20 so I can get through the day. Perhaps I will come begging to you. When I do, you will think about it for a bit, then remember this photo and say, "Hey, didn't you once pay twenty dollars to have your picture taken with Beetlejuice? Who's to say that if I give you this twenty bucks, you won't just run out and spend it on another photo with Beetlejuice?" Sensing defeat, I will walk away in shame. But I still won't regret this photo.
7. Brigitte Nielsen, Parsippany, NJ
If I had to pick one person from "Celebrity Rehab" to have my photo taken with, Brigitte Nielsen is, I must admit, pretty far down the list (if I have to tell you, who's at the top of the list, you need to go back and do some catching up on the blog). Still, any opportunity to spend a few fleeting seconds with a Celebreality star should be seized. And so it was. This was the second of two attempts, and I look no less comfortable in the first one than I do here.
6. Nicole Eggert, Fairfield, NJ
A lifelong dream fulfilled, several years after it really would've meant something. Still, it's Nicole Eggert, and no matter the year, it is still an important achievement in my life history. Of course, that does not speak well of my life history to date, but if my history was full of great and wondrous achievements, I would have no time to blog. Think of what a void that would leave in your life. What's that? It wouldn't make one bit of a difference? Well, screw you then. I touched Nicole Eggert.
5. Charlie Louvin, New York
Look at me--I'm a Louvin brother! Well, as close as I'll get. This was taken after his show at Banjo Jim's, which was the back end of a Charlie Louvin doubleheader for me. The night before was at the 92Y Tribeca, and that was pretty damn good, but Banjo Jim's may have been better. It didn't really occur to me to get a photo with Mr. Louvin, but my friend Jon asked me to take a photo of him and Mr. Louvin, so I figured I should get in on that action (thanks Jon!). Like Billy Joe Shaver last year, Mr. Louvin misses out on being on the official Holiday Greeting only because 98% of the friends on my list would just be confused about who the old guy in the cowboy hat is. Sorry, Charlie.
Someday, I will be destitute. That day may come soon or it may come a couple decades from now. But it will almost certainly come. And when it does, I will desperately hope for $20 so I can get through the day. Perhaps I will come begging to you. When I do, you will think about it for a bit, then remember this photo and say, "Hey, didn't you once pay twenty dollars to have your picture taken with Beetlejuice? Who's to say that if I give you this twenty bucks, you won't just run out and spend it on another photo with Beetlejuice?" Sensing defeat, I will walk away in shame. But I still won't regret this photo.
7. Brigitte Nielsen, Parsippany, NJ
If I had to pick one person from "Celebrity Rehab" to have my photo taken with, Brigitte Nielsen is, I must admit, pretty far down the list (if I have to tell you, who's at the top of the list, you need to go back and do some catching up on the blog). Still, any opportunity to spend a few fleeting seconds with a Celebreality star should be seized. And so it was. This was the second of two attempts, and I look no less comfortable in the first one than I do here.
6. Nicole Eggert, Fairfield, NJ
A lifelong dream fulfilled, several years after it really would've meant something. Still, it's Nicole Eggert, and no matter the year, it is still an important achievement in my life history. Of course, that does not speak well of my life history to date, but if my history was full of great and wondrous achievements, I would have no time to blog. Think of what a void that would leave in your life. What's that? It wouldn't make one bit of a difference? Well, screw you then. I touched Nicole Eggert.
5. Charlie Louvin, New York
Look at me--I'm a Louvin brother! Well, as close as I'll get. This was taken after his show at Banjo Jim's, which was the back end of a Charlie Louvin doubleheader for me. The night before was at the 92Y Tribeca, and that was pretty damn good, but Banjo Jim's may have been better. It didn't really occur to me to get a photo with Mr. Louvin, but my friend Jon asked me to take a photo of him and Mr. Louvin, so I figured I should get in on that action (thanks Jon!). Like Billy Joe Shaver last year, Mr. Louvin misses out on being on the official Holiday Greeting only because 98% of the friends on my list would just be confused about who the old guy in the cowboy hat is. Sorry, Charlie.
7.24.2008
The gift that keeps on giving
I am woefully behind on my "Two Coreys" viewing (and, to be honest, the episodes I have seen were a bit much), but luckily Bayonne Mike—currently the only blogger to mention Camus and the Coreys in a ten-day span—has fully descended into the Corey maelstrom and alerted me to this week's Feldman ode to love, a gift to his wife:
There is no singer who consistently brings the goods like Felddog. And to prove he doesn't stop, there's the new jam "Green Is the Colour" (Corey digs the Brit spellings!) on his site. Not as good as the antiwar song (now seemingly unavailable on the site), but still amazing.
New Truth Movement CD (the brilliantly named "Technology Analogy") due out soon! Can't wait!
There is no singer who consistently brings the goods like Felddog. And to prove he doesn't stop, there's the new jam "Green Is the Colour" (Corey digs the Brit spellings!) on his site. Not as good as the antiwar song (now seemingly unavailable on the site), but still amazing.
New Truth Movement CD (the brilliantly named "Technology Analogy") due out soon! Can't wait!
4.24.2008
Tommy (Grand) Habeeb: Tinsel and Rot Hall of Famer
The mission of the Tinsel and Rot Hall of Fame is twofold. First, we aim to honor those who have achieved genuine greatness in not only our arguably warped eyes but in the eyes of the general populace. In that capacity, we have welcomed undeniable legends like Hank Williams Sr., Bob Dylan, and Roy Orbison into the fold. Second, we look to shine a light on those who have achieved greatness in our eyes but whose names are greeted with a casual shrug or, at best, a tepid tolerance from the average citizen. We have achieved this goal with the induction of William Hickey, Gary Busey, and now the original and still greatest "Cheaters" host of all time, Mr. Tommy Habeeb, or Tommy Grand if you prefer to call him by his host name.
If you have not had the pleasure of watching "Cheaters," you are living a vastly unfulfilled life, and Tinsel and Rot is very sorry for you. But to catch you up, the show's premise is that someone suspects a loved one of infidelity, the "Cheaters" team of private investigators trails the suspected cheater and amasses video evidence, the host shows the aggrieved party this proof, and then there's a big confrontation, generally in a parking lot and almost always hilarious. Never has infidelity been so incredibly entertaining. And the most fascinating part of the show is that, most of the time, the person who is doing the cheating and ends up being the subject of verbal and occasional light physical abuse from their scorned lover apparently happily signs a consent form that allows his or her completely unblurred likeness to be shown in perpetuity. Fascinating. Yes, "Cheaters" may be the best worst show of all time.
Anyway, Tommy Habeeb, who for reasons I've never been clear on goes by the name of "Tommy Grand" for "Cheaters" purposes, is the true star of the show. As entertaining and explosive as the confrontations are, it is the perpetually black-clad Habeeb's casual reassurances to the person being cheated on that propel the show and earn him a spot in the Tinsel and Rot Hall of Fame. While sharing graphic evidence of infidelity, Habeeb would often add in a "I hate to have to show you this" or "This must be difficult to watch" as he offered an awkward pat on the shoulder meant to soothe someone who's just seen her boyfriend getting blown in a dorm room. And it would all be delivered in a flat monotone, which made it all the more fantastic. Never has unctuousness been so brilliantly displayed. And, yes, I am excited that I just used the word "unctuousness."
Unfortunately, Habeeb was replaced by the vastly inferior Joey Greco as host, and "Cheaters" never was the same. The show got progressively more bizarre (Greco was stabbed, the "Cheaters" cameras uncovered an odd S&M session, one of the cameraman got zapped by some sort of cattle prod), but it didn't have the Tommy Grand touch. I'm not sure if there are still first-run episodes airing, but G4 airs repeats a lot, and a lot of those repeats fetaure highlights from the Tommy Grand years that show the vast superiority of those episodes.
Sadly, YouTube's "Cheaters" clips are almost all from the Joey Greco years, so there is precious little I can show you to illustrate the brilliance that was Tommy Grand. But in my research, I discovered that Habeeb recently hosted a show called "Stag," where brides-to-be got to watch clips from their future husbands' bachelor parties. What could go wrong? Oh right, this (WARNING: contains language definitely not suitable for work):
Tinsel and Rot salutes you, Tommy (Grand) Habeeb, and welcomes you into the Tinsel and Rot Hall of Fame.
If you have not had the pleasure of watching "Cheaters," you are living a vastly unfulfilled life, and Tinsel and Rot is very sorry for you. But to catch you up, the show's premise is that someone suspects a loved one of infidelity, the "Cheaters" team of private investigators trails the suspected cheater and amasses video evidence, the host shows the aggrieved party this proof, and then there's a big confrontation, generally in a parking lot and almost always hilarious. Never has infidelity been so incredibly entertaining. And the most fascinating part of the show is that, most of the time, the person who is doing the cheating and ends up being the subject of verbal and occasional light physical abuse from their scorned lover apparently happily signs a consent form that allows his or her completely unblurred likeness to be shown in perpetuity. Fascinating. Yes, "Cheaters" may be the best worst show of all time.
Anyway, Tommy Habeeb, who for reasons I've never been clear on goes by the name of "Tommy Grand" for "Cheaters" purposes, is the true star of the show. As entertaining and explosive as the confrontations are, it is the perpetually black-clad Habeeb's casual reassurances to the person being cheated on that propel the show and earn him a spot in the Tinsel and Rot Hall of Fame. While sharing graphic evidence of infidelity, Habeeb would often add in a "I hate to have to show you this" or "This must be difficult to watch" as he offered an awkward pat on the shoulder meant to soothe someone who's just seen her boyfriend getting blown in a dorm room. And it would all be delivered in a flat monotone, which made it all the more fantastic. Never has unctuousness been so brilliantly displayed. And, yes, I am excited that I just used the word "unctuousness."
Unfortunately, Habeeb was replaced by the vastly inferior Joey Greco as host, and "Cheaters" never was the same. The show got progressively more bizarre (Greco was stabbed, the "Cheaters" cameras uncovered an odd S&M session, one of the cameraman got zapped by some sort of cattle prod), but it didn't have the Tommy Grand touch. I'm not sure if there are still first-run episodes airing, but G4 airs repeats a lot, and a lot of those repeats fetaure highlights from the Tommy Grand years that show the vast superiority of those episodes.
Sadly, YouTube's "Cheaters" clips are almost all from the Joey Greco years, so there is precious little I can show you to illustrate the brilliance that was Tommy Grand. But in my research, I discovered that Habeeb recently hosted a show called "Stag," where brides-to-be got to watch clips from their future husbands' bachelor parties. What could go wrong? Oh right, this (WARNING: contains language definitely not suitable for work):
Tinsel and Rot salutes you, Tommy (Grand) Habeeb, and welcomes you into the Tinsel and Rot Hall of Fame.
8.29.2005
Maybe some things should stay trapped
So, I guess that R. Kelly's constant legal woes mean that he doesn't have any sort of management team anymore. Because if he did, they would have talked him out of that crazy "Trapped in the Closet" performance on the VMAs last night. I can't even really put its magnificence into words, other than it combined intentional lip-synching (which he gave up doing toward the end), the world's most confusing song, and a tour-de-force "acting" performance by R. Kelly.
I'm sure the awards will be rebroadcast roughly a gajillion times in the coming weeks, so you'll have a chance to catch it if you missed it live, assuming R. Kelly doesn't come to his senses and ask MTV to never show that again. Luckily, I don't think R. Kelly has much sense left, so we should be in the clear.
I'm sure the awards will be rebroadcast roughly a gajillion times in the coming weeks, so you'll have a chance to catch it if you missed it live, assuming R. Kelly doesn't come to his senses and ask MTV to never show that again. Luckily, I don't think R. Kelly has much sense left, so we should be in the clear.
8.01.2005
He Aames to Please
Lately I've been thinking that I may finally be over reality TV. I'm tired of watching attractive people mate and cry and mate again on "The Real World." This season of "The Surreal Life" is dead in the water. "Viva La Bam" is starting to wear thin. And if Pauly Shore revealing he's a sex addict is supposed to make me interested in watching a show, I fear there's been a grave mistake made by someone at TBS.
But then, mere minutes after I walked into my apartment Sunday night, I tuned into "Celebrity Fit Club 2" and watched Willie Aames, covered in what have to be the worst tattoos I've ever seen, having a complete meltdown, first when awakened at 6 in the morning for an exercise session and then when recounting his anger on the Celebrity Fit Club set. It may be the best reality TV since Stephen slapped Irene on "The Real World: Seattle." When he attacked his own front door, I laughed very, very hard.
And you will, too. Do yourself a favor and tune in to one of the 1,832 reairings of the episode this week.
But then, mere minutes after I walked into my apartment Sunday night, I tuned into "Celebrity Fit Club 2" and watched Willie Aames, covered in what have to be the worst tattoos I've ever seen, having a complete meltdown, first when awakened at 6 in the morning for an exercise session and then when recounting his anger on the Celebrity Fit Club set. It may be the best reality TV since Stephen slapped Irene on "The Real World: Seattle." When he attacked his own front door, I laughed very, very hard.
And you will, too. Do yourself a favor and tune in to one of the 1,832 reairings of the episode this week.
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