I spent the better part of Saturday afternoon hanging out with doo wop aficionados in a parking lot at the Izod Center. I aint bragging, just saying. I was there in the vain hope that King of the Falsetto Lou Christie and/or my favorite Hank Williams Sr. interpreter (not really, but it's not worth going into) B.J. Thomas would be signing autographs as part of the preshow festivities for the yearly Richard Nader doo wop spectacular. Neither did, so to at least partially justify heading out to the swamplands, I grabbed autographs from Sonny Geraci (lead vocalist on "Precious and Few" and "Time Won't Let Me"), Mel Carter ("Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me"), and Eugene Pitt and the Jive Five.
I knew the least about Eugene Pitt, but I knew one of the songs mentioned in the program ("I'm A Happy Man"), so I figured I might as well get the autograph. Later research done after I arrived home confirmed that I also knew their big hit ("My True Story") and that I didn't know a hugely important fact about Eugene Pitt and the Jive Five. They were responsible for the "Nick-Nick-Nick-Nick-Ni-Nick-Nick-Nick-Nickelodeon" jingle that aired all throughout my formative years on Nickelodeon--the days of "Double Dare," "Don't Just Sit There,""Nick Rocks," the aforementioned "Fifteen" (still no DVD), and, of course, the greatest of all Nickelodeon shows, and the subject of this edition of "I Want My DVD," "You Can't Do That on Television."
Unlike "Fifteen," which, admittedly, didn't have an extremely large fanbase, "You Can't Do That on Television" was adored--or, at the very least, viewed and tolerated--by every kid worth knowing in the mid- to late 1980s. And everyone had their favorite cast member, whether it be Christine "Moose" McGlade, Alasdair Gillis, Lisa Ruddy, Kevin Kubusheskie, Doug Ptolemy, or maybe even Barth (anyone who says Alanis Morissette was his/her favorite is just trying to be cool...do not trust said person). Then there were the firing squad skits, the Blip's Arkaid bits, and the sliming and watering. And, of course, there was that undeniable theme song.
I should note that I am under no impression that I would actually find great artistic merit in the episodes of "You Can't Do That on Television" that would appear on any DVD. I accept that the show would almost certainly not be as cool as I remember it being, but, well, nothing is really as cool as I remember it being when I was in grammar school (except that ball going through Bill Buckner's legs; that's timeless). I just want my DVD of "You Can't Do That on Televison." And if it's too much to ask to put the whole series on DVD, how about a Nickelodeon Best of the Glory Days DVD with some episodes of "You Can't Do That on Television," "Double Dare," "Fifteen," and the like? I know that would sell. What are we waiting for, DVD makers of America (and Canada)?
In the meantime, here's a Locker Jokes segment, Moose getting slimed repeatedly, and a call for support for SlimeCon 2009 (which Tinsel and Rot firmly endorses):