Hey, Douchebag (Vol. 2)

This has annoyed me before--and will continue to annoy me until it ceases to happen--but, seriously, you people who sold out the 550-capacity Bowery Ballroom on Tuesday night for the US Air Guitar Championships are all giant douchebags. Every last one of you. I don't care if you were there to support your friend. Your friend's an even bigger douchebag and it's time he or she knew that. If you were there to see the metal tribute to the Bee Gees, I suppose I could let that slide, as they at least play actual music. But I'm leaning toward douchebag. Sorry.

Tuesday night I went to see one of the best live bands I've ever seen--the fabulous Waco Brothers--play to a decent-sized crowd that was not near a sellout in a venue almost comparable in size to the Bowery Ballroom. Yes, the Waco Brothers kicked ass for about two hours, playing real songs real fast and real well. But I guess that would''ve been too much for you, to reward people with musical passion instead of a douchebag organization that celebrates the simulation of passion.

Look, I don't care if you want to win the Air Guitar Championship. Good for you, sport. Best of luck. But to want to watch people play air guitar and pay money for the privilege? Nope, that's something only a douchebag can do. And it's the height of douchebaggery to make the conscious decision to head out on a Tuesday night to watch morons play air guitar in a city where dozens of bands are playing actual instruments and playing their actual hearts out for little to no money and small to nonexistent crowds. Every time I try to get someone to go see a good band on a weeknight, I get the whole "Oh, not on a school night" excuse, but somehow you and more than 500 of your douchebag peers were willing to go out on a school night to see douchebags act like douchebags? And pay for it? As the kids say, WTF?

Is this what the future will be like? Will we all hand over our money and stand slackjawed while douchebags play air guitar, or Guitar Hero, or Rock Band, or whatever the latest simulation of actual art and entertainment is? Really?

On the bright side, the Waco Brothers were awesome. You should've been there. Douchebag.