12.08.2008

Ingo Froelich: Tinsel and Rot Hall of Famer



Who, you ask? Well, this probably is not the first time you have reacted like this to a T&R Hall of Fame induction. But I will admit that Mr. Froelich is our most obscure pick. So, here's the story of the man who, as best I can recall, was the first accordion player I ever saw.

Back in the day, the family used to spend a lot of time in the Catskills. For most of my early childhood, there was one week a year when the Ford Fairmont would be packed up and we'd settle into the Brown House at Eva's Farm in Purling, NY, where we'd meet up with all the other families that visited that same week every year. It was a week of ringing dinner (and breakfast and lunch) bells, shuffleboard, Donkey Kong (and, later, QBert), square dances, and, in retrospect, watching adults drink a lot (the centerpiece of the Dollar Beer Racket night was when couples would pair off, the husbands would don baby bonnets, and the wives would give them a baby bottle filled with beer...first to finish wins). When other kids were going to Disney World, we were going to Eva's Farm. I suppose the other kids thought they were getting the better deal. They were wrong.

Alas, all good things must come to an end, and after a change in ownership and a quick subsequent downturn, Eva's Farm ceased to be. Luckily, by that point, we had settled into a summer rental in nearby Windham, where we could come and go whatever week we wanted to, but the other families were left without someplace to go at the end of July. And the area, once a hotbed of family resorts, was on its way down, too, so it wasn't so easy to find a spot like Eva's. But finally a few of the families settled on Wolff's Maple Breeze in nearby Catskill. For sure, it wasn't Eva's, but it was close enough. There were good video games (including World Series, maybe my all-time favorite) and, most important, different parties and activities every weeknight, which, though we were staying in Windham and not at the resort and thus had no right to attend, we crashed regularly. I suppose the management just assumed you'd have to be crazy to make the effort to crash a "Schnitzelbank" performance and just let it go.

There were only a few summers at Wolff's, and I was in my teens at that point, but I will forever remain in awe of the times I saw the incomparable Ingo Froelich and his one-man show at Wolff's. Ingo, who also performed with Helga (a woman who played glasses, whatever that's called) at the German Alps Festival in Hunter every summer, did the resort circuit in the Catskills during the summer, sometimes with his band (the Continentals) bot mostly solo. He was, as you may have surmised, German, and I reckon that if he had it his way, he would have played German songs all night. But he was at the mercy of the tourists, so while he was able to sneak some German tunes into the sets (and, really, he played until no one remained), the bulk of the night was handed over to interpretations of oldies and more recent fare.

For the solo shows, he would just have his accordion and keyboard, so the keyboard was in charge of the beat. And when I say "the beat," I mean "the beat." There was but one. Sometimes it would be slow, sometimes it would be fast, but it all sounded pretty much the same and was at the sheer discretion of how much Ingo felt like hitting the beats-per-minute button on the keyboard. Appropriately, there were two surefire showstoppers in the Ingo repertoire, one slow--"The Lady In Red"--and one fast--"Blue Suede Shoes." And both benefitted from the unique interpretation afforded by Ingo's thick German accent, which rendered "The lady in red/Is dancing with me/Cheek to cheek" as "Zee lay-dee een red/Eez dahn-zing vith me/Chik to chik" and "Stay off of my blue suede shoes" as "Ztay offa my blue svede schuss." It was magical.

Sadly, I have no video proof to share with you. And my own personal Ingo collection is woefully inadequate. Last year, I had the glorious good fortune to find the live album above in a store in Phoenicia. The album features his brother, Manny the Singing Chef--whom I never had the pleasure of seeing--and a live drummer that, it should be noted, is only marginally more vibrant than the keyboard beat. As I write this, I am listening to Ingo sing "Rhinestone Cowboy" on the album, and it is every bit as awesome as I remember. The neighbors, I imagine, are scared.

And in one of the last times I saw him at the German Alps Festival, I was smart enough to buy a cassette of "Etwas Gewagt mit Ingo." I'm not sure if the "Somewhat Bold" underneath the title is the proper translation, but it sounds about right, particularly when you see the cover.



That tape, by the way, rests on my kitchen table, which I bought from IKEA for one reason: its name is Ingo.

I do not know whether Ingo Froelich is dead or alive (the Internet should be ashamed that it cannot provide a definitive answer). I like to think he's alive, but he would be quite old at this point, so who can say? What I can say is, Ingo Froelich, wherever you are, today you are a Tinsel and Rot Hall of Famer.

12.07.2008

A Yahoo! News Headline That Will Surely Drive Pete Townshend Crazy

"Kennedy Center honors Streisand, Freeman, Daltrey"

Bad enough that George Jones gets the shaft, but choosing Roger over Pete in the headline? Ouch. Our thoughts are with you, Pete.

And to make matters worse, Rob Thomas sang "Baba O'Riley."

12.04.2008

Holiday Cheer

Overheard while shopping at the Union Square Holiday Market:

"If you're gonna do drugs, you hafta do them anally."

Duly noted. One to grow on.

12.02.2008

I just wanna bang on the drum all day

An outsider might wonder why a man in his 30s still makes a big celebration of his birthday, as I did last month and many of my adulthood Novembers. Truth is, every birthday is a noble, though ultimately futile attempt to top childhood birthday parties at the Razz-Ma-Tazz in Sayreville, NJ (search for it on the Internet and you will find seemingly endless references to it being an inferior Chuck E. Cheese's, but I consider Chuck E. Cheese's to be an inferior Razz-Ma-Tazz) and the impossibly awesome, old-timey-themed Farrell's at the Staten Island Mall, where your birthday was marked by sirens, the banging of a bass drum, and a restaurant-wide rendition of "Happy Birthday." I'm almost certain I had more than one birthday party there, but the one I remember most was the one where my friends dared Terry Walsh to drink everybody's soda, which he did, before heartily vomiting in the men's room while my mom's friend tended to him. If I have to explain why such a thing would be looked back upon as fun, you need to spend more time contemplating your childhood. Or else you're Terry Walsh and carry a grudge.

Farrell's was, in short, the coolest place ever, and the Staten Island Mall has yet to recover from its closure over two decades ago after the entire chain (save for two remaining Farrell's in California and Hawaii) packed up the boaters and vests and called it a day. If that Farrell's was still around, I can guarantee you that I would still be celebrating birthdays there. But, like many things from my childhood, it's gone and, I imagine, largely forgotten.

So, it was with great joy that, after an eBay search for Farrell's memorabilia, I happened upon The Farrell's Zone, a salute to all things Farrell's that delves into the chain's history and looks at the surviving Farrell's restaurants (next trip to California includes a stop in Santa Clarita). And, to my great happiness, there is a partial video clip of a birthday celebration. I would have preferred more sirens, but it'll do.



All praise and glory (and a couple of bangs on the old bass drum) to Roger Baker at The Farrell's Zone for posting the videos. He is my new hero.

12.01.2008

What I Liked About November


*Getting a picture with Kathleen Edwards
*Levon Helm's Midnight Ramble, Woodstock, NY
*Finding the mother lode of Dick Contino records, Asbury Lanes, Asbury Park, NJ
*Bowling seven games in three different places


*Seeing Mitch Fritz's first NHL fight vs. Georges Laraque
*My first recording session, Garfield, NJ
*Hartmann's Kaffeehaus, Round Top, NY
*My mom getting released from the hospital


*Don Rickles, Tropicana, Atlantic City, NJ
*Drive By Truckers, Terminal 5, NYC
*Pumpkin pancakes, Sweet Sue's, Phoenicia, NY
*The willingness of people with cars to drive me places

11.28.2008

Song o' the Month: November 2008

Sometimes it takes a little bit before a song gets to you, particularly when it's on an album with some tracks you focused on nonstop for a few months. Such is the case with November's Song o' the Month, Kathleen Edwards's "Scared At Night" (from the stupendous "Asking for Flowers," which you oughta own). I prefer the album track, with its keening steel guitar, but that aint on YouTube and this is:



And in case you miss the lyrics due to the recording quality, here you go:


As a child I would wake at night
I was scared, but I kept real quiet
Shadows on the walls moving in on me
Underneath my sheets I could barely breathe
Your room was only just across the hall
All it would have taken was a single call
Maybe sometimes you've got to trust yourself
Not to scream out loud and run like hell

Believe me
All the days you're unsure
Believe in me
I don't want to anymore
In the dark
Picture me in your mind
And I'll lay with you
You don't have to be scared at night

As a young man you were shooting rats
By accident you hit the farmyard cat
He ran for the fields and
came back the next day
You had blown out his eye
and you could see his brain
Your dad said "Boy, there are some things in life.
You don't want to do but you know is right.
So take him out back and finish him off."
You got your gun off the shelf
it only took one shot

Believe me
All the days you're unsure
Believe in me
I don't want to anymore
In the dark
Picture me in your mind
And I'll lay with you
So you don't have to be scared at night

I flew to Winnipeg on your final day
They said that you waited until I came
We sang your favorite hymns
and we held your hand
You took your final breath and that was that
But I'd never seen a person die before
I tried so hard not to cry, you know
Maybe sometimes we've got to trust ourselves
That when you die you go someplace else

Believe me
All the days you're unsure
Believe in me
I don't want to anymore
In the dark
Picture me in your mind
And I'll lay with you
So you don't have to be scared at night
You don't have to be scared at night
You don't have to be scared at night

11.26.2008

Laughs For Which To Be Thankful

The lack of posting has been due to a lack of fun. But that's behind us now. So here's two YouTube clips that have provided laughs in a week that needed them.

I'm generally the last person to get wind of these things on the Internets, so I imagine the rest of the world knows all about the Tiddy Bear by now. But, just in case...



Tip o' the hat to the Society for the Promotion of Good Grammar for that.

And one of my favorite stops on YouTube is the Stupid Famous People site, where you can see and hear annoying people with cameras hound famous people. And occasionally (nay, often), the famous people don't seem like the stupid ones. To wit, two annoying drunks with a camera bother James Franco, who has the audacity to not engage in a conversation with them at two in the morning.

11.17.2008

How I Celebrated My Birthday

First, I hauled ass from the train to the Port Authority, bought my ticket from a woman at the Trailways window who helpfully told me, "Oh, I don't think you'll make it," ran to the other side of the terminal, and then made the bus (beeyotch) with a solid 30 seconds to spare.

Then, after the bus pulled in at Kingston and I realized we had enough of a layover, I hightailed it to the pretzel-doorhandled Deising's Bakery, where I quickly purchased one of their unbeatable chocolate crullers and five of the finest pretzel sticks ever created by human hands (only available on Fridays and Saturdays).



Then, after arrival in Windham, I went with my mom and retired journalist Bryan Chambala to Hartmann's Kaffeehaus in Round Top, NY (on the awesomely named Heart's Content Road), for the best French Dip I've ever had and a dessert that was about 98% whipped cream and quite good. An elderly German couple also put me in charge, after a fun game of parking lot pantomime, of alerting "zee handicapped man vith zee chauffeur in zee vite car" that they were blocking said elderly couple from opening their driver's-side door.



Then Mr. Chambala and I were turned away at the bowling alley at the Winter Clove Inn ("the lanes are all broken") before finding success at the Bowlers Club in Saugerties, where the computers were likely among the first ever sold to bowling alleys, pins flew out of the rack twice during the first game, and a 14-year-old was working the bar. In other words, the perfect place for bowling on one's birthday, even in the midst of two larger, louder, and perhaps more age-appropriate birthday parties. The new shoes got their first two games in and produced a solid 167 and 174. And it only cost $4.50 for me to bowl two games.




With time slipping away, we made a dusk visit to Big Pink, which we found again after a few missteps.



Then I got all confused and sent us in the wrong direction twice as we headed to dinner at the Black Bear, where we met up with drummer extraordinaire Johnny Macko and my superstar blogger sister and her gentleman friend.

After shoving some food down (and while my sister and her gentleman friend continued eating and imbibing before making the same journey), Misters Macko and Chambala and I headed to Levon Helm's place on Plochmann Lane, which, it turns out, is harder to find when it's dark and it starts raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock. But we got there, and there was a shorter line than last time, so we were in good shape. We initially took spots in the third row, but after some scouting we settled on seats in the front row, but on the side, right near the piano and organ. Any seat there is fine, but these weren't bad at all, and we didn't stay in them much during the main set anyway.

A trio from Finland (whose names I've forgotten, but they played fiddle, guitar, and Dobro) opened things up and endeared themselves to me almost immediately by singing Richard Thompson's "Keep Your Distance." Then came Chris Thile and the Punch Brothers, who, based on the fact that their last album was broken down into movements, I thought I would find just OK. But they were way better than that and even did a Jimmy Martin song ("Ocean of Diamonds"), which almost certainly proves that they are avid Tinsel and Rot readers. I couldn't see her from my seat, but apparently a woman in the front row was nodding off hard during the Punch Brothers' set (and by both their playing and Thile's declarations about how happy and honored they were to be there, the band didn't see it either), and she and a man I'm assuming was her very embarrassed husband bailed after the set and gave their seats to a couple of guys behind us. If they are indeed married, I believe "forcing us to leave front-row seats at Levon's" is solid grounds for immediate divorce.

Then came the main event. I had the thought a few days prior that maybe going back to Levon's was a mistake. Maybe I should have just let the near-perfect first-time experience stand and leave it at that. Surely, it wouldn't be better the second time around, particularly because (a) Little Sammy Davis was still recovering from a stroke (get well, sir) and (b) Phil Lesh's phriggin' ridiculous New York City marathon run assured that Larry Campbell and, presumably, his wife would not be at Levon's this time around.

What a stupid thought that was.

Yes, it was a shorter set than last time, likely owing to the aforementioned absences, but it may have been an even better show. Why? Well, there was "Ophelia," "Slippin' and Slidin'," and "Crash on the Levee" in the 2,3, and 4 holes, respectively. There was Brian Mitchell doing his best Dr. John on "Such A Night." There was "Evangeline" in the acoustic set, followed by Amy Helm singing "All La Glory," nervous at the start then downright joyous when she nailed it.

And then there was that bushy-haired, crazy-bearded dude over in the corner. Amy Helm whispered something to bandleader Jimmy Vivino, and he responded, "Tell him we got gear...just come on and play." But it seemed he didn't want to just play, so gear was set up, and after a bit out walked the Santa-like Garth Hudson with his accordion strapped on and ready to go, as Vivino said, "And it's not even Christmas yet!" After shaking hands with the guys in the band and getting warmed up, Garth joined in on "All on a Mardi Gras Day" and stuck around for the closing trio of tunes, "Tears of Rage," "Shape I'm In," and the standard Ramble finale of "The Weight," with Punch Brother Gabe Witcher belting out the "Crazy Chester" verse and Cassandra Wilson joining in on the choruses.

[EDIT upon sister's request: Plus, Levon made out with my sister. OK, he just kissed her. But she may have been willing to go further. Probably less likely to pursue Garth.]

Seriously, you oughta go. I know money's tight these days, but you'll never be happier spending $125 or $150 than you will after you leave Levon's.

But back to me.

The birthday fun continued the next day at the incomparable Sweet Sue's in Phoenicia, NY, where pumpkin pancakes were devoured and I almost achieved my goal of finishing a "short stack" before my stomach informed me that four more bites would not be a good idea. So I admitted defeat, which never tasted so good.



It was a fine birthday.

(The fun concludes Wednesday night at Maxwell's, with Maybe Pete around 9:30 0r so [Chris Skel beforehand, Adam and Dave's Bloodline after]. Come on out for the fun.)

11.10.2008

Jimmy Martin: Tinsel and Rot Hall of Famer


Here's another one that somehow slipped through the cracks. Surely, he should have been inducted a long time ago. But, unlike the Country Music Hall of Fame, I am willing to own up to my shortsightedness and correct it by welcoming Jimmy Martin into the Tinsel and Rot Hall of Fame.

By all accounts, Jimmy Martin was one of the true characters in country music. Evidence of this can readily be found by watching King of Bluegrass: The Life & Times of Jimmy Martin or reading Tom Piazza's undeniably awesome True Adventures with The King of Bluegrass, where I first became enthralled by the man shunned by both the Country Music Hall of Fame and the Grand Ole Opry despite clearly belonging in both. Martin got his first big break playing with Bill Monroe and quickly parlayed that into a solo career that stands among the best in bluegrass.

A lot of bluegrass doesn't quite have the same punch it did when it was originally recorded, but Martin's best ("Sunny Side of the Mountain," "Free Born Man," "Tennessee," "Hold Whatcha Got," "Sophronie," "(I've Got My) Future on Ice". . . I'll stop there, but I could easily go on) hold up well today. They didn't call him the king for nothing (though, knowing Martin, it seems likely he may have bestowed the title on himself). For a good sampling of Martin's genius, try The King of Bluegrass CD or Songs of a Free Born Man, which would be worth the money if all you got was the cover (shown above). It takes a bold man to prepare his own elaborate gravestone and then pose next to it. I've never gotten the whole visiting famous people's gravestones thing, but I'll admit that I wouldn't mind making a trip to see Mr. Martin's. I tried to see him in concert in 2004, but his declining health forced him to cancel his appearance at Ralph Stanley's bluegrass festival in Virginia and I never got the chance to see him again. He died in May 2005. So the gravestone's the best I can do now.

YouTube clips of Mr. Martin don't quite do him justice (though a few do a passable job and are included below), but Piazza's book, originally an article written for the Oxford American, gives you a pretty good idea of Martin's irascibility and its impact on his career. The highlight of the book is Martin and Piazza's backstage visit to the Grand Ole Opry, in which Martin (a) tells a member of Ricky Skaggs's band that his boss's music is "about the sorriest f*&$in' bluegrass you could ever hope to be on with"; (b) upon seeing Skaggs yells out, "Is that the BIGGEST A$$HOLE in Nashville; and (c) lunges at Opry veteran "Whisperin'" Bill Anderson after telling Piazza, "I'm going to knock his a$$ right off him." Even if he hadn't produced all those great songs, I'd think he was brilliant solely based on Piazza's reporting.

Some say his stubborn, frequently caustic ways kept him from greater acclaim, but they won't keep him from the Tinsel and Rot Hall of Fame, which recognizes Jimmy Martin's spirit, toughness, and musical genius and welcomes him into the Hall.


"Tennessee"



"Free Born Man"


11.05.2008

Hey, Douchebag (Special Political Edition)

I get it. It was a bad night for you. Your guy lost, and you're not thrilled with the guy the democracy has chosen. Fair enough. Everybody can't be happy all the time.

But, c'mon, you can't take a step back and appreciate the moment? You can't realize that President-elect Obama's election to the Oval Office is a beautiful moment in the history of a beautiful country? You can't look past your disdain for the man to see that the country has taken a brave step forward after taking far too many steps backward in its efforts to become a place where all are truly equal and can make a meaningful difference?

No, it seems you cannot. Look, I'm not 100% thrilled with Obama. He's got some flaws and a ton of question marks, but I like him enough to think he deserves a chance--a chance to lead the country, a chance to make America better, a chance to bring us closer together. You, on the other hand, can find nothing good about his election. You have to spend election night updating your Facebook status to indicate your sadness at what the American people have done and how you're "nauseous" and how people who don't think like you are "ignorant," while also tossing off vaguely racist crap that your pals applaud and LOL about it.

Listen up, douchebag. Your guy lost. The people have spoken. You might not like their reasons for voting the way they did and you might not like the guy they put into office, but that doesn't mean you have to be such a raging douche. Losing sucks, but, hey, my guys have lost a few times (and if we're to extend this to the sports spectrum, my guys have lost more than a few times), and I haven't spent the day after tossing off snotty comments like "remember down the road you asked for this" and just generally oozing creepitude.

So, hey, just do me this favor: dig down deep and find that open-hearted, open-minded part of you that you've buried under your cynicism, casual racism, and overall douchebaggery. I know it's there. It's gotta be. Douchebags are made, not born. And with the country in the shape it's in now, it's the perfect time to cut the crap and stop being such a narrow-minded tool. It won't be easy, but after soaking in the events of Tuesday night, I'm thinking you just might have a chance.

11.03.2008

Studs Terkel RIP


Back in the days when journalism seemed like a real possibility for the future, I wanted to be like Studs Terkel, and not just because he was in the greatest baseball movie of all time. I wanted to be the reporter who didn't make a living being flashy, but could still be the life of the party if needed. I wanted to be the guy who took an interest in probing the mind of the average person and getting at what was in there. I wanted to be the writer who let other people tell the story while I got out of the way.

I got a little lost along the way, became a little disillusioned with what journalism had become and the seeming impossibility that there would ever be another Studs Terkel. Or maybe I just got lazy. Whatever the case, I never stopped liking Studs Terkel. I was lucky enough to hear him speak a few times at lectures and readings and tell stories about his career in the business. For a guy best known for capturing the words of others, he was pretty deft at telling a story himself, and once he got going, it was hard to get him to stop.

It was nice to listen.

What I Liked About October

*Charlie Louvin, 92YTribeca/Banjo Jim's, NYC
*Chiller Theatre Convention, Parsippany, NJ
*Billy Bragg, State Theatre, Ithaca, NY
*Rosanne Cash and Billy Bragg singing "I Still Miss Someone," Town Hall, NYC




*Meeting Aretha Franklin, NYC
*Friends of the Library Book Sale, Ithaca, NY
*Glenwood Pines, Ithaca, NY
*Gary Busey on Celebrity Rehab 2



*Maryland Renaissance Festival, Crownsville, MD
*Maureen McCormick book signing, Ridgewood, NJ
*Rick Bragg's The Prince of Frogtown
*The willingness of people with cars to drive me places

10.31.2008

Treat!


Today, the first 120 or so young trick-or-treaters who venture to the twenty-seven-year home of Mr. Tinsel and Rot (landmark status pending) in Staten Island, NY, will be receiving at least five of the following (in snack size):

Kit Kats
Baby Ruths
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
Butterfingers
Mini M&Ms
Nestle Crunches
Sour Patch Kids
Swedish Fish
AirHeads
AirHeads Lollipops
Chocolate Laffy Taffy
Chupa Chups
Milk Duds
Twizzlers
Hershey's Chocolate Lollipops
Jolly Rancher Bars/Twists/Some Bizarre Thing with Powder in the Middle
Snickers
Whoppers

You're welcome, children. You're welcome. Now, don't sh*t on my house.



(Compare with last year here.)

10.28.2008

New Roommate

When I moved into my apartment, which I lovingly dubbed Disgraceland, I was given a gold lamé-clad Elvis Presley cardboard standee that stood watch for several years before finally succumbing and going to that great recycling plant in the sky. Over the years, I have thought of replacing him with another standee, perhaps military Elvis or, I seriously considered once, a spangled hot pants-wearing Liberace (which I nearly bought before remembering that I am heterosexual and, theoretically, could have a female in my apartment one day). Ultimately, though, I never found the right replacement and accepted that the part of my life where it would be acceptable to have a cardboard standee in my apartment was about to end.

Then, at Chiller this weekend, I saw him. He was standing amid a booth full of toys and various other items adults shouldn't be purchasing. He had a Post-It that read $10 on him, and since I had done so well resisting the Call of the Autograph, I figured I was due for a reward. And so, I bought him.



It's Elvis hawking the limited edition Reese's Banana and Peanut Butter Cups (which aren't bad). It's not technically a standee, so it's now on my kitchen wall, which is a nice place for the King and his candy. And, ultimately, it's a nicer spot than his intended spot above the toilet, where he would have joined Crying Velvet Elvis by the sink.

10.27.2008

Saturday with the Goons

"The goons, myself among them, with big photo albums, stained hands, and little scribbled cards. The nuts who stood happily rain-drenched at the premiere of Dames or Flirtation Walk, while the Depression went on and on even though Roosevelt said it couldn't last forever and Happy Days would come again.

The gorgons, the jackals, the demons, the fiends, the sad ones, the lost ones.

Once, I had been one of them.

Now, there they were. My family."
(from one-time autograph collector Ray Bradbury's A Graveyard for Lunatics)

I am not sure if I should be happy that I had the foresight to show up before doors officially opened at last weekend's Chiller Theatre. On the one hand, by doing so, I assured that I did not wind up among the rained-upon masses lined up to get in midafternoon, who were halted from entering by order of the fire marshal. On the other hand, the fact that I knew I had to get there early and, indeed, actually wanted to be there on the always insanely crowded Saturday meant that I was now fully immersed in the world of Chiller and the aforementioned goons who attend it. This day was bound to come. I must accept it, along with the realization that I consider waiting in line for two hours to be a victory.

I can find some comfort in the knowledge that I was able to restrain myself from overspending and actually left the convention with no autographs and having paid only $20 to have my picture taken with two celebrities. (Again, I feel compelled to note that "celebrity" is a bit broad, for one person, whom I cannot reveal due to said person's pending appearance on this year's Holiday Greeting [yes, there will be one...happy?], is barely clinging to fame and the other, to be revealed later in this post, is almost certainly not a celebrity by any real definition.)

Of course, there were temptations. I was actually about to break down and get an autograph and picture with Tinsel and Rot Hall of Famer Leslie Nielsen, but, lucky for my own eating plans for the week, Mr. Nielsen bowed out for a lunch break and I decided I didn't feel like waiting it out. I'd gotten his autograph before (free!), but I was almost persuaded by the fact that he had Enrico Pallazzo photos. Alas, it was not meant to be.

I intended to get an autograph (in my Islanders yearbook, from the year when he was their celebrity captain) from and/or a photo with Ralph Macchio, but I quickly abandoned that notion when I got a look at his price list: $30 for an autograph AND an additional $30 to have your picture taken with him. Seriously? The Ralph Macchio Experience costs $60? Suck it, Daniel-san.

I was so intently focused on staring at his price list and thinking that I must be reading it wrong that I momentarily blocked Linda Hamilton's photo lane, which she very kindly pointed out and then insisted I had no need to be sorry, because life is too short for that. By all accounts, she was the MVP of the weekend, staying, I heard from others, past closing time on Friday night to sign for everybody and owning what looked to be the longest line on Saturday, which moved slowly because she was taking time with every fan. I had no interest in meeting her, but it's always good to see someone going out of their way to be nice and genuinely happy at one of these things.



Also exceedingly nice was John Schneider, who brought along an entire store of "Dukes of Hazzard" merchandise, including four different kinds of t-shirts, hats, DVDs, photos, and license plates that read "Bo Duke." I was almost tempted by the 2 for $25 t-shirt deal, but I ultimately could not justify, even after seeing that he signs "Yee Haw!" on every autograph.



In the autograph tent out in the parking lot (no lines! no waiting!), I almost gave yet more money to Barry "Greg Brady" Williams when I saw that he was selling autographed tabu tikis (oooweeoooweeooo) for $30. But then I realized that I have already bought two different versions of his book and his not-so-good CD. I love "The Brady Bunch," but the line must be drawn somewhere. Sorry. I have paid my debt to Barry Williams. Adios, Johnny Bravo.



I was particularly bummed, however, that Barry Williams was going to sing at the big Saturday night party, because I couldn't stick around for that and thus missed what I have to assume will be my only opportunity to ever see Barry Williams and Kip Winger perform at the same show. Sigh.



Epstein, Horshack, and Washington were next to the Brady table. Sixty bucks for a photo with all three of them. I don't think so. Robert Hegyes looks like Superfly Snuka now. And by "Superfly Snuka now," I mean "Superfly Snuka now," not "Superfly Snuka back when he was popular."



Across from the Sweathogs, I was forbidden from taking a photo of Jamie Luner. I actually just wanted to take a photo of the sign above her that read

Jamie Luner
Profiler
Melrose Place
Growing Pains (hastily crossed out in pen)
Just The Ten of Us,

because I thought it was funny. But as I prepared to do so, the woman taking the money at her table started waving her arms wildly and then yelled, "No pictures! You have to pay!" That was fun.

Luner was flanked on one side by Ron Lester, the previously egregiously obese actor from "Varsity Blues" and "Not Another Teen Movie" (and I was dismayed to realize on my way home, three episodes of "Freaks and Geeks..." yearbook signing opportunity missed), who not only has an entire line of products based upon his "Billy Bob" character in "Varsity Blues" but will also sign a pair of his old fat pants for $200 (Only 1 Pair!).



On the other side of Luner was Jeffrey Weissman, whom of course you remember as George McFly in the last two "Back to the Future" movies after Crispin Glover bailed. And in case you didn't remember, he brought props...props that had nothing to do with his character, but props nonetheless.



There were a few other temptations here and there, but I held fast to my goal of not buying autographs I didn't really want. And that was bad news for Zabka-esque villain extraordinaire Richard Tyson (from "Three O'Clock High" and "Kindergarten Cop"), whom I probably would have at least gotten a photo with in stronger economic times. Sorry, buddy.



George Kennedy was another tough one to pass up, particularly with Leslie Nielsen five tables away. I had considered buying a Naked Gun poster on eBay prior to the convention, but I'm a completist and since the chances of me getting (or wanting) OJ's autograph in the near future don't look good, I decided against it. Of course, it's horrible to reduce Kennedy's career to the Naked Gun series, but, in case you forgot, I'm a fairly horrible person a good deal of the time. In any case, here's a picture of him getting ready to sign a "Cool Hand Luke" poster.



I also could have easily spent some cash on a photo with Lita Ford, a pair of Kiss Me Deadly panties, or a tasteful poster for the apartment. Instead, I just took this photo.



So, you ask, who did you spend your hard-earned $10 on? Well, there were two gentlemen who looked awfully bored sitting behind a table in the tent. I didn't even know one of them, Randall Deal, was gonna be there, so I think he might've been a last-minute addition (and I assumed he was gonna be in the photo, too, but he just stood there, so it appears I assumed wrong...no big, ahem, deal, I suppose). And I saw a banjo on the table. And I thought, "C'mon, it's only $10. You gotta." And that's how I got my picture taken with Billy Redden, the man who played Lonnie, the (kind of) banjo-picking inbred in "Deliverance."



It took three tries (camera flash was acting up), but I'm quite happy with the finished product.

I'm also pleased that I was able to leave Chiller tired but satisfied, with mission accomplished and under $50 spent (one other purchase will be showcased in the next post). Victory is mine!

And, for the record, The Goons, Myself Among Them has replaced Good for You as the title of my next book (anticipated publication date: 2023)

Song o' the Month: October 2008

Charlie Louvin's "See The Big Man Cry" (written by Ed Bruce):



It would be horribly cliched to say they don't write songs like that anymore. It would also be true.

The song had already been in my head before seeing Mr. Louvin in concert twice last week, but now it is firmly lodged in my brain and will likely remain there for the rest of the month, maybe longer.

By the way, this is the best stage banter from Mr. Louvin from the two shows (this was from the Banjo Jim's show and is likely slightly paraphrased, but it captures the spirit of the thing):

[Spoken to an older woman with very blond hair] "Say, you remind me of my wife. What color are you on now? My wife asked me if I would love her when she went gray, and I told her, 'Well, I've loved you through about 40 other colors, so I reckon I'd be OK with that one.'"

Gotta love Charlie Louvin.

10.21.2008

Levi Stubbs RIP

It's hard to think of the Four Tops without thinking of my dad. He was a Temps and Tops kind of guy. I don't think he played favorites between the two, as I recall each getting equal play among the cassettes he carried with him for car rides upstate (it's hard to believe he didn't wear out the Temptations 'N' and Four Tops set he bought through the mail). But I do know that he bought a signed 8X10 of the Four Tops one of the times he saw them (was it at the Friar Tuck Inn upstate?), the only autograph I ever knew my dad to own.

So when I heard Levi Stubbs died, I thought of my dad. And car rides with those tapes (and, in the years before we made that great leap to a car that could play tapes, WCBS FM). And my dad singing in a voice that didn't quite match Mr. Stubbs'. And I was sad. And happy. Because it's like that sometimes.

Levi Stubbs knew that.

Rest in peace, Levi.



10.19.2008

How You Don't Want to Start a Bus Trip



Me: Hey, how's it going?

Bus Driver: Good. Heading to Cortland?

Me: Yep.

Bus Driver: Hey, just out of curiosity, do you know where the new bus stop is there?

Me: Um, no.

Guy Behind Me In Line: Yeah, I forget what street it's on, but I can call and...

Bus Driver: It's Exit 11, I think, or something like that. I'm sure I'll be able to find it.

For the record, he wasn't. At least on the first try. But after heading a good ways into the boonies, he did have the wherewithal to think he might be headed the wrong way, which led to this:

Bus Driver: Hey, who's going to Cortland?

Me: Yeah, back here.

Bus Driver: So, this new stop, where is it again?

Me: Um, I think it's near the courthouse or something.

Bus Driver: OK, and where's that?

Me: I don't know.

Bus Driver: But back the other way, right?

Me: Um, I guess so?

Between this experience and having water spill on me for an hour on the Megabus from DC last weekend, I'm once again starting to think that bus travel may not be something I'm cut out for in my adulthood, assuming that is the stage of life I'm in now. Debatable.

Luckily the rest of the weekend--hanging with the family of Puck Daddy scourge Rev. Zamboni, going to the greatest book sale in the world, eating (and old-school arcade bowling) at the Glenwood Pines, seeing Billy Bragg in concert at one of my favorite theatres (with one of my favorite marquees), making another late-night visit to the alma mater, buying spiedie marinade at Wegmans--went a lot better.




10.14.2008

Lards of the Ring

I don't think it speaks well of me, but I am fascinated with wrestlers' attempts to keep it together after their time in the spotlight is over. As has been well documented, many succumb at a tragically young age after years of relentless traveling and often more than occasional drug use. But those who survive wind up touring the country doing independent shows in high school gyms and the occasional wrestling convention. I have been to a few of the former and a few too many of the latter, and at each I generally leave depressed at the state of the television heroes of my childhood. I would be lying, however, if I said I didn't find some glee in seeing an old wrestler who's gone to seed. I aint proud.

I do feel bad for the guys, but that doesn't prevent me from being highly entertained when they lose it and someone is there to document it. The best example would be Jake "The Snake" Roberts, whose WWE documentary (yes, I watched the whole thing) detailed a childhood that sounded so unbelievably miserable that I thought I could never again be entertained watching him in a drunken stupor (though I once was). Then, TMZ featured footage of him in an apparent stupor rambling like a lunatic, stumbling through a match, and then exposing himself (Jake maintains someone slipped him a mickey). And I was once again ashamed to be so entertained.

Then, this past Friday in New Jersey, another wrestler who has been alleged to have his fair share of demons, Scott Hall, disrupted a roast of the Iron Sheik because he took offense at an admittedly tasteless joke about the deceased Owen Hart. He threatened the offending comedian and generally rambled in what appeared to be a slightly inebriated state (part 1 here and subsequent parts on YouTube as well...all of which make me so sad that I wasn't there). Then for an encore on Saturday night, he allegedly behaved like a drunken ass at the hotel restaurant/bar. From a post on the convention board (you need to join to log in...I'd almost say it's worth it to read all the craziness that goes on there):

Without getting too graphic, he basically stated to my wife that I must have a lot of money because a “hot woman” like her would never marry an “ugly guy like him” and that she should come to his room later and that I would never know. Keep in mind as well this was in front of my 6 year old and 2 year old daughters and well before 6 pm. He then went on to state that he would like to perform oral sex (I’m apologize if I am being too graphic) on my wife “every day.”

There should be a channel devoted just to old wrestlers and their daily lives. I would want to be appalled by it...but then never leave my living room again.

10.13.2008

Peace Queer

You like free music, right? Good. So why not go to Todd Snider's website before October 31 and download his new EP "Peace Queer." It's free. There aint no strings. You might like it. You might not. But when you're done listening, you'll be just as rich as you were when you started (depending, I suppose, on your stock portfolio, but Todd has no control over that).

If you're the type of person whose appetite needs to be whetted before consuming something that costs nothing, here's a video of the first song on the EP that combines two of my favorite things in the world: Todd Snider and Hatch Show Print.

10.08.2008

Dressing for success

Tinsel and Rot doesn't condone endangering the lives of innocent children, but if you're gonna have 15 beers and let a 10-year-old boy drive you, a couple of other kids, and your drug-collecting lady friend home, you should at least show the sense that Randy Lewis displayed in wearing a swell t-shirt for the inevitable mug shot.


(photo from NET News Service)

You did it, Randy!

10.05.2008

The Tinsel and Rot Sirius Stiletto Top 20: DISCONTINUED

Because my Stiletto is continuing its slow descent into a worthless piece of crap and Sirius customer service has done its best not to help me, Tinsel and Rot must call an end to the Top 20. In its place, we present the Song o' the Month for September 2008, Luke Doucet's "Broken One."

10.01.2008

What I Liked About September


*The Wright/Killinger nuptials, Livermore Valley, CA
*Earl Anthony's Dublin Bowl, Dublin, CA
*Hangin' with the Finches, Oakland, CA
*Chocolate buttermilk doughnut, Donut-Wheel, Livermore, CA

*Maybe Pete CD Release Party, The Saint, Asbury Park, NJ
*Birthday fun, Tully, NY
*That 24-hour period where it looked like I might have Mets playoff tickets
*Pinetop Perkins, State Theatre, New Brunswick, NJ

*Tony Clifton, BB King Blues Club, NYC
*The Duhks/Luke Doucet, Maxwell's, Hoboken, NJ
*Time's Up
*The willingness of people with cars to drive me places

9.30.2008

Billy Joe Shaver: Tinsel and Rot Hall of Famer

Sometimes, the Tinsel and Rot Hall of Fame Board of Governors lets one slip through the cracks. Such is the case with the long-overdue induction of true country music outlaw Billy Joe Shaver.

I have explained why Billy Joe Shaver is cooler than you'll ever be before (and pointed you to a good career summation here), so I'll keep this relatively brief.

The first time I saw Billy Joe Shaver was completely unexpected, as he was the unadvertised opening act at Elmira's Clemens Center, where my friend Bryan and I had headed on a schoolnight in college to slip in among the elderly of Elmira to see Willie Nelson from second-row seats. Since no one was expecting Mr. Shaver and most of the crowd had rigid bedtimes, he was fighting an uphill battle. But he handled it like a champ. When the inevitable "Where's Willie?" shout came from the crowd, Mr. Shaver answered with the completely illogical but perfectly right reply, "If he was up your ass, you'd know where he was." And thus, two new Billy Joe Shaver fans were created.

Shaver's set was short that night in Elmira, but I've been lucky enough to see him a few times since and have never left disappointed. Each show has had its fair share of chaos (such as the one where he gave his drummer a few bucks and told him to leave if he wanted to...he did) and an equal amount of brilliance. There are probably a handful of people whose shows leave me as happy as Mr. Shaver's do, and none of them feature a man in his late 60s shadow boxing and shaking with the fervor of a Pentecostal preacher.

Mr. Shaver was recently indicted on felony charges for allegedly shooting a guy at a bar in Lorena, Texas (Dale Watson wrote a song about it and what Mr. Shaver allegedly asked the man he shot). I aint saying he did it, and if he did, I aint saying it's right. What I am saying is that this incident and about a thousand others prove that Billy Joe Shaver is a bona fide badass.

And now he is a member of the Tinsel and Rot Hall of Fame.

Here are some YouTube clips of Billy Joe in action:

"Georgia on a Fast Train" (with his late son Eddy)



"Black Rose"



"Try and Try Again"



Billy Joe the storyteller

9.29.2008

Kids today

I like to check my college newspaper's website on a fairly regular basis to see what the college kids are up to these days. So, as my body recovered from the physical abuse inflicted upon it by a floor hockey game and was reminded that it is not in college-age shape anymore (though, to be fair, it probably wasn't in college-age shape in college either), I clicked on over and found this (and watched the accompanying video).

Oh brother. I'm not sure I've ever been more ashamed to be an alumnus. And that's saying a lot.

The two quotes that best capture my reasons for shame are:

“Most people I saw [during the game] thought it was awesome and wanted to join or hear more about it,” he said. “Some of them just thought it was silly, and I only saw one person who ever got angry.”

and

“I was very psyched about battling zombies,” he said. “It’s a good thing for people to come together on campus. You know, you see someone walking around campus with a Nerf gun and you just say hi or someone you don’t know starts chasing you across campus. It’s pretty fun.”

During my college days, I can assure you that if 160 people were running around campus with bandanas tied around their arms and hands and brandishing Nerf guns, most people I know wouldn't have thought, "Hey, that's awesome! Where can I join in on this crazy good time?" And if I had known that having someone you don't know chase you around campus was fun, I imagine my college dating experience would've gone a lot more smoothly.

Kids today.

9.25.2008

And another thing...

This doesn't quite fit in the "Hey, Douchebag" category, but I think the people of the world need to be made aware that the phrase "I came all the way from..." shouldn't come out of a person's mouth unless it's taken you more than three hours to get to the show.

I bring this up because I saw Pinetop Perkins, Hubert Sumlin, and Willie "Big Eyes" Smith in New Brunswick tonight and as I was leaving I was surprised to see the 95-year-old Perkins outside signing autographs for people. I dashed back inside to buy a CD and came back to find the same guy still talking to Mr. Perkins and finishing off his moment by saying that he "came all the way from Philadelphia" for the show.

First of all, that's about a 90-minute drive, almost all of which is highway. That's not that big of a feat. Unless, of course, you travel exclusively on horseback. I did not see any hay or salt licks outside the State Theatre, though, so I'm assuming a car was involved. Theoretically, I assume the gentleman could've arrived by train, but I tend to think I'm the only person in America who crosses state lines on rails to go to shows. Even if he came by train, it's still not much more than 90 minutes. And if we're using 90 minutes as the basis for using the phrase "I came all the way from..." then I could've used that every time I went to a show in Manhattan when I lived in Staten Island.

Second, I can almost guarantee Pinetop Perkins doesn't care where you came from. Don't get me wrong--he seemed like a real nice guy and I'm sure is appreciative of the fact that people come out to see him. But he's 95. He came from Austin, Texas, to play the show. Aint that a man? So, just say, "Thank you, sir. It was an honor to see you play" and get back in the car.

I'm just saying.

9.24.2008

Earl Palmer RIP


Rock and Roll Hall of Famer Earl Palmer, one of the most prolific session drummers of all time, died last Friday at the age of 83.

As impressive as Buddy Harman's résumé was, Palmer's was even better. Here's a partial list:

"Lawdy Miss Clawdy"
"Beyond the Sea"
"Let the Good Times Roll"
"My Blue Heaven"
"Tutti Frutti"
"I'm Walkin'"
"You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'"
"River Deep, Mountain High"
"Donna"
"La Bamba"
"Dead Man's Curve"

And that's just a start. He also played on numerous film and TV scores, probably most memorably laying down the beat for the theme song to "The Flintstones." I'm also looking for full confirmation that he played on the "Brady Bunch" theme but can't find anything definitive.

Regardless, popular music wouldn't have been the same without Earl Palmer. So, here's to you, Earl. Rest in peace.

9.23.2008

Ten Things I Learned On My First Trip To California

1. The only thing worse than watching the Mets bullpen is following their exploits on XM Radio while you're in a JetBlue plane flying high above America with nowhere to pace.

2. Thirty minutes in Amoeba Records in San Francisco is not nearly enough time.

3. You can wear a goose costume in McAfee (or whatever it's called now that McAfee is not renewing its lease) Coliseum without arousing much suspicion.


4. Weekday afternoon baseball games in perfect weather are a beautiful thing, regardless of whether the teams playing really have anything at stake.


5. Amoeba Records in Berkeley is cool, but Rasputin's a few blocks away is just as good, if not better.

6. Schnappsie is the only dog in the world with a magic button ($4 at Rasputin's).


7. You can see a lot of cool things in San Francisco in a really short period of time and take some pretty good pictures through the windshield.

8. Traveling across the country for your friend's wedding, which is already cool because you love your friend and haven't seen her in nine years, is made exponentially cooler when the hotel is five minutes away from a mini golf course that gives you two 18-hole options and ten minutes away from Earl Anthony's Dublin Bowl, where you can bowl at 9:30 Saturday morning next to a guy wearing sunglasses, an A's jersey, and a kilt.



9. The best doughnut ever is the chocolate buttermilk doughnut fresh out of the oven at the Donut-Wheel in Livermore, CA.

10. I really miss being in college.

9.15.2008

Charlie Walker RIP


Grand Ole Opry star Charlie Walker died Friday at the age of 81 after recently being diagnosed with colon cancer.

I will admit that I don't know much about Charlie Walker, but the fact that he recorded the undeniably awesome "Pick Me Up On Your Way Down" and made it songwriter (and Tinsel and Rot Hall of Famer) Harlan Howard's first big hit is reason enough to celebrate his life here on earth. He also recorded two songs that rank high on the list of greatest country song titles ever, "Don't Squeeze My Sharmon" and "Tell Her Lies and Feed Her Candy," the former on an album that also featured "I Wouldn't Take Her to a Dog Fight." I wish I was home to confirm that I have that album, but I'm pretty sure I do. If not, I will be seeking it out shortly.

RIP, Mr. Walker.

(photo from the Grand Ole Opry website.)

9.14.2008

Three in Four

Three shows in four days. It went something like this:

Wednesday 9/10--Tony Clifton, BB King Blues Club, NYC


My initial excitement at seeing a listing for the return of Tony Clifton on the BB King Blues Club website a month or so ago had dissipated so much that as the workday ended on Wednesday, I wasn't really looking forward to the show anymore. Sure, I'm a big Andy Kaufman fan and thought it would be cool to see his creation come back to life (albeit as played by pal Bob Zmuda), but when I actually thought about it, I started to wonder what I was getting myself into. Watching Kaufman do Tony Clifton was one thing, but a whole show with Zmuda doing Clifton was something else entirely. Maybe, I thought, it would just suck. In fact, maybe it was supposed to suck. Maybe that was the point. But I had paid my $17, so I soldiered on.

I'm glad I did, because it's been a long time since I had that much fun at a show. Aside from the ridiculously hot dancers employed by Clifton and a band--the Katrina-Kiss-My-Ass Orchestra--that was actually pretty damn good, the endless barrage of intentionally off-key singing and absurdly offensive jokes that came out of Clifton's mouth during the three-and-a-half-hour show is something I will not soon forget. I would detail some of the jokes, but you've almost certainly heard all of them, which was sort of the point. Plus, if I wrote them down and told you that I laughed at them, you'd almost certainly think less of me. But if you already have as low an opinion of me as you think it is possible to have, stop me sometime and I'll share them with you--provided we are not in earshot of anyone else.

There were some lulls here and there, but they never lasted that long, which is a pretty good accomplishment considering the show's length. There was some of the Clifton/Kaufman "playing" with the audience (a few lit cigarettes were thrown from the stage, some tables had some drinks thrown at them), and a guy was thrown out for yelling at Clifton and giving him the finger. I know the temptation is to say that was a plant, but since he was only a few tables away, I must admit I have my doubts. I have every reason to believe the guy was legitimately hammered, and the woman he was with, who was laughing right along with him during the first set, seemed to grow weary of him after the intermission and bolted. So, maybe he wasn't a plant. Or maybe he was. Such is the genius of Tony Clifton.

Anyway, Tony Clifton's touring for at least the next few months. It's definitely worth seeing, provided you do not have a disdain for nasal warbling, off-color jokes, women in pasties, and dodging lit cigarettes. If you're cool with all that (like me...though, to be honest, I'm not all that into dodging lit cigarettes, which is why I'm glad none were thrown in my direction), you'll have a good time.



Friday 9/12--Maybe Pete CD Release Party, The Saint, Asbury Park, NJ


My mom was there. You weren't. Thus, we now have official confirmation that my mom is cooler than you. Keep trying, though. You might get there someday.

Anyway, you missed:

* Mark Linskey and the Streetcorner Matadors kicking ass in their New Jersey debut
* A special Maybe Pete acoustic performance of "This Town" (from their new CD, "Straight to Red"...heard about it?) among the crowd
* Me talking Denino's outside with two other Staten Islanders/Maybe Pete fans
* Maybe Pete's Staten Island Ferry-inspired "Someplace We've Never Been"
* Eric Safka's quantagious organ playing
* The Ramones' "Do You Remember Rock and Roll Radio?" done up right by Maybe Pete, Safka, Linskey, and Bruce Tunkel
* The postshow victory party at the Blue Swan
* A damn good time on a Friday night.

You can't keep depriving yourself of fun like this. It's bad for you. Be good to yourself.



Saturday, September 13--The Felice Brothers/AA Bondy, Maxwell's, Hoboken, NJ

I'd been trying to get to a Felice Brothers show for most of the year, so it was with a great sense of relief that Tunes in Hoboken still had a ticket left for Saturday's show even though it had already been declared sold out.

The Felice Brothers have been getting a fair share of press and acclaim lately for their live shows, and since they're from a part of the world for which I have a profound fondness (the Catskills), I was particularly interested in seeing if all the hype was true.

Conclusion? Maybe half the hype is true.

They were good enough, and there were definitely moments where they came awfully close to being great, but the ratio of "Wow!" to "Eh" ran about 1 to 5 for me. Seems to me the energy is there, but the songs aren't quite there yet (the best moments of the show, in fact, were almost exclusively covers--from spirituals like "I'm Saved" and "When I Lay My Burdens Down" to Townes Van Zandt's "Two Hands"). Still, I'll likely check them out again, and I'd say they're worth your while, too.

No pictures from the show because I was a little exhausted from the night before and a flea market in Atlantic Highlands earlier in the day to motivate myself to get to Maxwell's early.

What's that you say? A flea market in Atlantic Highlands? That's right, ladies, I'm single, heterosexual, and like going to flea markets. What are you waiting for?

9.09.2008

And now it's time for a commercial

Fresh off their victory in the Love Hope Strength contest (as the Tinsel and Rot voting bloc goes, so goes the nation), New Jersey's pride and joy Maybe Pete will be having their CD release party for their brand-new (hence the party) "Straight to Red" disc this Friday, September 12, at The Saint in Asbury Park, NJ. And as if that weren't enough, they will be preceded on the stage by not only Bobby Strange and Agency, but also the equally Jerseriffic Mark Linskey and the Streetcorner Matadors in a rare East Coast appearance. Seriously, you'd be stupid not to go. And you don't want to be stupid, do you?

The show starts at 8. Tickets are a bargain at any price but will still only leave your wallet only $10 lighter. Tinsel and Rot money-back guarantee in full effect. You go and you don't like it, I'll give you your money back, along with a firm promise that I will forever think poorly of your taste in music and you as a whole.

Need to know more before you go? Check out Maybe Pete's MySpace and Mark Linskey and the Streetcorner Matadors' MySpace. Or listen to Frankie and Kelly from Maybe Pete at 90.5 on your FM radio radio (or on the Internet Internet Thursday at 8 p.m.

Got it? Good. See you on Friday.