Hey, Douchebag (Special Political Edition)

I get it. It was a bad night for you. Your guy lost, and you're not thrilled with the guy the democracy has chosen. Fair enough. Everybody can't be happy all the time.

But, c'mon, you can't take a step back and appreciate the moment? You can't realize that President-elect Obama's election to the Oval Office is a beautiful moment in the history of a beautiful country? You can't look past your disdain for the man to see that the country has taken a brave step forward after taking far too many steps backward in its efforts to become a place where all are truly equal and can make a meaningful difference?

No, it seems you cannot. Look, I'm not 100% thrilled with Obama. He's got some flaws and a ton of question marks, but I like him enough to think he deserves a chance--a chance to lead the country, a chance to make America better, a chance to bring us closer together. You, on the other hand, can find nothing good about his election. You have to spend election night updating your Facebook status to indicate your sadness at what the American people have done and how you're "nauseous" and how people who don't think like you are "ignorant," while also tossing off vaguely racist crap that your pals applaud and LOL about it.

Listen up, douchebag. Your guy lost. The people have spoken. You might not like their reasons for voting the way they did and you might not like the guy they put into office, but that doesn't mean you have to be such a raging douche. Losing sucks, but, hey, my guys have lost a few times (and if we're to extend this to the sports spectrum, my guys have lost more than a few times), and I haven't spent the day after tossing off snotty comments like "remember down the road you asked for this" and just generally oozing creepitude.

So, hey, just do me this favor: dig down deep and find that open-hearted, open-minded part of you that you've buried under your cynicism, casual racism, and overall douchebaggery. I know it's there. It's gotta be. Douchebags are made, not born. And with the country in the shape it's in now, it's the perfect time to cut the crap and stop being such a narrow-minded tool. It won't be easy, but after soaking in the events of Tuesday night, I'm thinking you just might have a chance.