From the Guelph Tribune:
A man in Guelph has been approaching women with a bizarre request for the past two months, and police are asking for the public's help in finding him.
The man has been approaching women in the Victoria Road and Woodlawn Road area and asking them to kick him in the groin. The incidents have happened three times, between April 7 and May 22, said a police news release. During two of the incidents, the man was on a bicycle.
The suspect is described as a white man, 20 to 25 years old, who is heavy-set with a red or brown goatee and a noticeable gap between his front teeth. He was last seen wearing a ball cap, a grey, zippered hoodie and blue jeans.
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What kind of country hunts down fat guys who want to be kicked in the balls? Shame on you, Canada. I'm rooting for the Ducks now.
And if you're out there, pal, come to the States. The greatest country in the world will make it happen for you.
U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
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