Decision '07: Who Will Fill Barker's Shoes?

Tinsel and Rot has been observing a proper period of mourning for the departure of Mr. Bob Barker from the television airwaves. But we will now break this period of mourning by launching our coverage of Decision '07, which will, of course, follow the quest to fill the unfillable shoes of Bob Barker on "The Price Is Right."

Let us now assess the candidates for the job:

Mark Steines/Todd Newton--Essentially the same guy. And that guy is unctuous and unworthy of gracing the screens of America at 11 a.m. The host for "Price Is Right" should be a man of the people, or at least seem like a man of the people. Neither of these soulless monsters qualifies. For the record, Mark Steines is from "Entertainment Tonight" and Todd Newton hosted "Whammy." You already destroyed the precious legacy of "Press Your Luck," Newton. No more, Toddy.

George Hamilton/John O'Hurley--Again, essentially the same guy. These two are simply not "Price" material. Hamilton shouldn't be allowed to do anything but commercials at this point in his life. Or, really, at any point in his life. And no matter how hard he tries, John O'Hurley's always going to be J. Peterman. No one wants to see J. Peterman play Plinko.

Mario Lopez--Sorry, A.C. Just can't see it. The best so far, but, really, being better than Todd Newton and George Hamilton is not much of an accomplishment. Ultimately, M. Lo is not the man for the job. Too young. Plus, his ties to Screech can only be a hindrance in this post-"Celebrity Fit Club: Men vs. Women" world.

Rosie O'Donnell--Sure, she seems to have a genuine affection for the show and probably knows all the games inside and out. But, in an unfortunate turn of events, she's also Rosie O'Donnell. She'd be loud and annoying and everything a game show host shouldn't be. Plus, no one would want to reach into her pocket for $100. Sorry. Donald Trump made me write that.

That about covers everybody who's been mentioned as a possible successor. I think that weatherman Dave Price was also brought up, but that's gotta be because his last name is Price. Dude's already gotten enough breaks, hasn't he?

Tinsel and Rot would like to suggest a dark-horse candidate who has yet to be mentioned in the rumor mill. He is the perfect combination of all the above candidates. He's got the wide, toothy smile of Mark Steines/Todd Newton, the movie-star good looks of George Hamilton/John O'Hurley (well, he's been in movies), and the recognizable celebrity factor of M. Lo and Rosie. I'm pretty confident that he's free, and I genuinely believe lots of people would watch him try to get a Hole-in-One (Or Two).

Yes, Tinsel and Rot throws its support firmly behind the legendary, utterly fantastic Gary Busey:



Who's with Busey? We're with Busey.

While looking for clips from "I'm With Busey" on YouTube, I stumbled upon this gem. It's Busey singing "Stay All Night (Stay A Little Longer)" with Rick Danko and Paul Butterfield on "Saturday Night Live." Sweet Jesus. YouTube Find of the Week. And further proof that this should be your next "Price Is Right" host. He tells you to have your pets spayed or neutered, you listen: