The last time I went to scenic Hasbrouck Heights, I really wanted to eat at the Bendix Diner, located a little ways down from Bananas. It's one of those old dining car diners and, from what I understand, a few movies have been filmed there, including "Diner" (starring, of course, Steve "Officer Mahoney" Guttenberg). I didn't have the time last go-round (and the steady rain and swirling wind eliminated most of my adventurousness), but I made a point to leave a little early this time. Coincidentally, Saturday was also a day of steady rain and swirling wind, but when I get my mind and stomach set on something, I'm unstoppable. "Unstoppable," in this case, meaning "moronic."
So, about 90 minutes before showtime, I walked into the Bendix (only slightly drenched), and a little kid handed me a menu. There was one guy sipping coffee at the counter and another guy waiting for his order at a booth, so it was a pretty intimate gathering. All the better, I thought, because I'll be served quickly and then can just walk on down the highway, which, in this case, is not a metaphorical construct meant to conjure idyllic images of a ramblin' man but an actual statement of fact, as both the diner and Bananas are on Route 17.
I scoped out the menu, honed in on my standard diner choice (pot roast), and waited for the waitress, a Greek woman of a certain age who was currently taking a delivery order over the phone. As I waited, I noticed that there was another guy walking around behind the counter in a black T-shirt that read "Blindingly Sexy." After seeing the shirt, I didn't pay much more attention to him, because I figured that if I did look at a man who would wear a shirt that said "Blindingly Sexy" on it, I would probably just end up laughing in his face. Luckily, he was pacing back and forth on the phone a lot of the time, so he seemed just as uninterested in looking at me.
The waitress finished taking the order and started to put it together, getting the rice pudding out, starting up the coffee, picking out a box to put everything in. At this point, I began to wonder if she would ever take my order. About 15 minutes had passed since I came in and she had barely acknowledged me. In fact, the kid who gave me the menu seemed to be the only person cognizant of my existence. And he was busy with his Matchbox car.
Not wanting to cause a scene (a personal motto...James Sigman: Not Wanting to Cause a Scene Since 1976), I rationalized that maybe she was just one of those people who can only do one thing at a time. So, when the takeout order was done, it would be Me Time. No problem. I'm in no rush to get a front-row seat at the Michael Winslow show anyway. I learned my lesson last time: if you're going to go to a comedy club alone on a Saturday night, sit in the back, loser.
Then the "Blindingly Sexy" guy comes out of the kitchen and the waitress says something to him in Greek. He says something back and begins to walk in my general direction. But then he stops two tables away from me and asks, "What can I get for you?" And that would've made sense, except there was no one sitting there.
Then, the waitress says, "No, no, two more down."
And it is at this point, as the "Blindingly Sexy" guy approaches my table that I realize a very important detail about this man.
He is actually blind.
The shirt makes more sense now.
***
After this new information sinks in, I order my pot roast, chicken noodle soup, and glass of water. I know I'm not supposed to treat the guy any different than I would anyone else, so I'm silently convincing myself that, really, this is no big deal. Why shouldn't blind people be waiting on tables? Really, how important is sight when you're serving food? And what's the big deal about sight anyway?
But then the guy at the other table pays for his food at the counter and tells Blindingly Sexy, "OK, I'm giving you a $20."
I hadn't even thought of the exchange of money. What if he gives me the wrong change? Do I point it out? Do I just let it slide? Oh man, I don't want to cause a scene...
Then Blindingly Sexy makes his way out from behind the counter with my glass of water. And I begin panicking again. Is it rude to take it from him? He seems to know his way around the diner, so maybe he'll just know where the table is and put it down. But maybe he won't. And what then?
I decide to just let him bring the water over to the table and if it seems like his aim's off, I'll take the glass. That plan works well. Then it's time for the soup. This time, I decide to just take the bowl. I'm not taking chances with any hot liquids (another personal motto).
While the pot roast is cooking, Blindingly Sexy gets engrossed in other things, and the waitress winds up bringing out my dinner. I am at once comforted and disappointed, because I was almost acting like a human being around the guy by now. And I really wanted to be a human being, to show that I didn't care that the guy serving me my food happened to be blind, that it was just another day, another diner.
But all that went out the window after I finished my pot roast (which was only so-so), as I made a conscious effort to pay the waitress because I wasn't sure I could handle the whole money exchange thing.
So close...
NEXT: The main event
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