9.26.2005

Tinsel and Rot Exclusive

The media hasn't picked up on this yet, and I want to make sure that I break this news first to you, devoted Tinsel and Rot reader.

You have heard of the "Poltergeist "curse, wherein several actors in the movie met untimely demises. And then there is the "Superman" curse, which stretches from the original TV show all the way up to Christopher Reeve.

Now, with the passing of Don Adams, it has become painfully clear that there is another curse worse than any of the others, a curse so undeniable and so potent that it will rock you to the very core.

Yes, dear T&R reader, I am speaking of the "Back to the Beach" curse.

"Back to the Beach," a criminally underappreciated 1987 comedic tour de force starring Frankie Avalon and Annette Funnicello that revisited the beach movies of days gone by. Unfortunately, the sheer brilliance of the movie (which had a killer soundtrack...which I own on cassette and vinyl) is now forever overshadowed by the devastation it has left in its wake.

Let's look at what's happened to some of the stars featured in that movie:

Bob Denver...dead

Alan Hale Jr....dead

Don Adams...dead

Stevie Ray Vaughan...dead

Annette Funnicello...currently fighting MS, and, if that picture I saw on a supermarket tabloid is to be believed (and why should tabloids be doubted?), not doing well.

Pee Wee Herman...busted in a porno theater

O.J. Simpson...had some trouble with the law

Lori Loughlin...TV show recently cancelled

Fishbone...not popular anymore

Oh sure, it's easy and perfectly sane to chalk it up to coincidence. But that would be foolish. Watch out, Frankie Avalon. And that kid who played his son, who I haven't seen since. Oh no...I haven't seen him in anything since!

***

Honestly, I'm pretty sure that if I pitched this to an entertainment magazine, someone would bite. Aint that America...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I actually paid to see that movie, along with "Who's that Girl" on the same day.

Should Tom Welling be concerned?

Mr. Bad Example said...

I don't know about Tom Welling, since he's not officially Superman. He may be OK.

I saw Back to the Beach at the UA Travis in Staten Island. From the second row. 'Cause it was opening night and the theater was packed. I think I may have gotten the last ticket.

And people say Staten Islanders don't know how to have a good time.