C.R.E.A.M.

ITEM:Lee "God Bless The USA" Greenwood cancels a show in Denver after not receiving his full fee

There's a lot to sort out with this story. First, the concert organizers went on the offensive, explaining that Greenwood walked out on a show honoring veterans, police, and fire personnel after he didn't receive his full performance fee, which his contract stipulated must be paid in cash or cashier's check prior to the show. The organizers claimed they had given Greenwood's management the bulk of the fee as directed, save for a $2,000 check from the Knights of Columbus that would square things. Greenwood, who at least knows he's free, decides to take a pass on doing the show.

Then, after word gets out to the media about his cancellation, Greenwood counters that it was a simple matter of the terms of his contract not being met, and that people who were disappointed at not seeing him in concert should blame the organizers, not him.

Now, what's the shocking part here? That the organizers reneged on the terms of a contract and then tried to harm Greenwood's reputation? That Greenwood would cancel an appearance honoring the military, police, and firefighters over a measly $2,000? That people would actually be disappointed at not having seen Lee Greenwood in concert?

No. The shocking part is that Lee Greenwood commands $20,000 per show. On the strength of one horrible song. Or at least I thought that was the shocking part until I read this sentence in a Rocky Mountain News article:

"The God Bless the U.S.A. singer reduced his usual fee to $20,000 to help out the promoter, Webster said."

Reduced his usual fee? How much are promoters willing to pay to bring in Lee Greenwood? How many people are willing to go to a Lee Greenwood concert to justify this price tag?

There aint no doubt I love this land, but sometimes I wonder about the people in it.

ITEM: Idiot designer Marc Ecko spends $752,467 on Barry Bonds's 756th home run ball and sets up website to decide its fate

I never thought it would be possible, but I finally stand firmly behind a statement made by Barry Bonds. Marc Ecko is indeed an idiot. After spending three-quarters of a million dollars to buy the 756 ball at auction, the designer has set up a website where people can decide if the ball should be (a) sent to the Baseball Hall of Fame as is, (b) sent to the Baseball Hall of Fame with an asterisk branded on it, or (c) blasted into space.

To reiterate, Ecko paid $752,467 to do this (plus whatever it will cost to blast the ball into space if that option is chosen). Man, that's a lot of money. Good thing there are no people in need in the world. Because then Ecko would look like a giant ass.

Look, I'm not well versed in the charity endeavors of Marc Ecko. Maybe he's a great guy who keeps his charity giving under wraps. But a Web search shows that he's given time and money to saving rhinos (which seems more like a marketing tie-in than actual charity) and that Marc Ecko Enterprises "has been funding the Tikva Children's Home of Odessa, a Ukrainian orphanage founded in 1996." Interestingly, the Tikva profile on the Ecko website ends with the following:

"To raise funds for the orphanage, MEE hosts an annual golf tournament known as the Tikva Drive for Life. All proceeds go to the Tikva Children's Home of Odessa. Last year MEE raised over $600,000 for the children and hopes to raise over $1 million this year."

Those good with numbers may note that $752,467 is pretty close to $1 million. I wonder if that goal would have been reached easier with $752,467 that instead was spent for some sort of marketing project/moronic social experiment. Something to think about.

For the record, Tinsel and Rot endorses Option D: brand Ecko with an asterisk and send him to Cooperstown, where he will be blasted into space fom left center at Doubleday Field as I eat some donuts from Schneider's Bakery. And maybe he could be rammed by a rhino, too.

ITEM: A Christian theater group takes out a $90,440 ad in USA Today chastising comedian Kathy Griffin for her remarks in her Emmy acceptance speech

OK, here we go again.

So, Kathy Griffin, being a comedian, uses her acceptance speech at the Emmys to say something she thinks is funny:

"A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus," an exultant Griffin said, holding up her statuette. "Suck it, Jesus. This award is my god now."

Decent joke. And I have to think that Jesus isn't losing much sleep over it. But a Christian theater group in Tennessee was outraged and/or, like Marc Ecko, wanted some publicity. So they took out a full-page ad in USA Today to express $90,440 worth of their dismay.

Again, I've gotta think that $90,440 can be used in some kind of better way than an ad denouncing a comedian, who, really, has made a career of saying crazy things. Surely, there are still some motherless children around who could use a few bucks for medical care. Unless that's been solved. I haven't seen anything in the news, but maybe O.J. knocked it off the front pages. I'll do a Google search later.

Oh wait, this just in: the group took out another full-page ad today. So I assume we're over $180,000 now.

I have no more words.