Hail to the Chiefs

Tinsel and Rot's salute to bowling continues as we bring you the results of the First Ever Presidents' Day Bowling Extravaganza, which took place today at Bowl-Rite Lanes in Union City, NJ (13 games bowled for $41, with one shoe rental...what a place). The Extravaganza featured six presidential duels, plus a bonus solo game for Rutherford B. Hayes. After a spirited tie in the first game, the subsequent five head-to-heads were a little less competitive.

Game 1: Franklin Pierce (120) tied LBJ (120). LBJ works his way out of a quagmire and ties the game in the 10th.

Game 2: Millard Fillmore (176) def. James K. Polk (115). Fillmore makes the Finger Lakes region proud and takes home the Top Bowler of the Day trophy, handily defeating Polk (shown above).

Game 3: Herbert Hoover (135) def. William Howard Taft (113). They weren't booing, they were chanting "Hooooooooooover."

Game 4: Warren G. Harding (157) def. Calvin Coolidge (105). Silent Cal is no match for Harding (shown above looking very unathletic), who atones for his Teapot Dome sins with a 52-pin victory.

Game 5: Ulysses S. Grant (138) def. Grover Cleveland (104). Not a very effective president, Grant proves to be competent enough to beat back the resilient Cleveland, seen gunning for a second, nonconsecutive spare above.

Game 6: Chester A. Arthur (151) def. John Quincy Adams (87). The Gentleman Boss shows off his kegling prowess in a thumping of the exhausted JQA.

Game 7: Rutherford B. Hayes (126). No one wants to play "Rutherfraud," but he soldiers on anyway with a respectable 126.

Happy Presidents' Day to all and to all a good night.

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