The Jimmies

Year-end lists published in December are just wrong. I mean, what if something monumentally fantastic happens on December 31? Is it fair to exclude that from a "best of" because it occurred at the last minute. Let me answer that for you--no, no it's not.

So, now that 2005 has officially passed, let's sit back and enjoy The Jimmies, Tinsel and Rot's salute to the best of 2005.

Best On-Air Performance by a Cast Member of "Charles in Charge": Willie Aames, "Celebrity Fit Club 2"

Nicole Eggert's underwhelming appearance on "The Real Gilligan's Island" paved the way for a runaway victory for ex-Bibleman Aames, whose short temper and ill-conceived tattoos smashed the idea that Gary Busey will always be the craziest person on whatever show he appears.

Jeff Conaway looks to be making a run at being this year's Aames on "Celebrity Fit Club 3," or, more accurately a combination of Aames and Daniel Baldwin from "CTF 1." I smell a 2006 Jimmy in Mr. Conaway's future.

MTV Show of the Year: "Next"

Lots of competition, but some boring "Made" episodes and the celebrity editions of "Room Raiders" give the prize to "Next," a show so blindingly stupid that it approaches brilliance. I'm not sure there's a funnier moment on TV than when that girl falls while coming off the Next bus. Actually, I bet something funnier happened on "Elimidate" or "Cheaters," but they're not on at normal times here.

A side note: this year's "My Own" smells like a disaster. Just make more "Next" episodes instead, MTV. Or keep having those Real World/Road Rules challenges.

And, for the record, both "Room Raiders" and "Made" would be better with people in their late 20s and up. I, for one, would like to be made.

Best TV Show Performance by a "Freaks and Geeks" alumnus: "How I Met Your Mother"

"Kitchen Confidential" (with John Francis "Sam Weir" Daley) tried a little too hard, "ER" (with Linda "Lindsay Weir" Cardellini), well, no one watches that anymore, and "Love, Inc." (with Busy 'Kim Kelly" Phillips) is just bad, even by UPN standards. So, Jason "Nick Andopolis" Segel wins by default, simply because I was able to sit through more than one episode of "How I Met Your Mother." The world anxiously awaits the reappearance of Martin "Bill Haverchuck" Starr.

Most Entertaining In-Person Experience with Corey Feldman: The second one

The first one (see photo below) was good, the third one was brief, but the second one was the one where he almost got into a fight with a cab driver, while wearing a white leather vest. An all-time classic, if a little awkward for me.

Best In-Person Experience with a Professional Wrestler: Abdullah the Butcher at Chiller Theatre

A closer race than you might think. Lanny Poffo was a good one, too. I had a far too long conversation (i.e., more than five seconds) with him in which he awkwardly brought up his divorce. And I stood in a wrestling ring for about five minutes, staring at a bunch of young children waiting in line, while Jimmy "Mouth of the South" Hart tried to put film in the Polaroid. But neither gentleman asked me to stick a fork in their heads, so Abdullah's the winner.

***

And a couple of lists for 2005:

Best Concerts (no particular order)
1. Marah, Theater of the Living Arts, Philly, PA
2. The Avett Brothers, Joe's Pub, NYC
3. Alejandro Escovedo, Tin Angel, Philly, PA
4. Todd Snider and the Nervous Wrecks, State Theatre, Falls Church, VA
5. Scott Miller and the Commonwealth, Iota, Alexandria, VA
6. Bob Dylan and Merle Haggard, Beacon Theater, NYC
7. Was (Not Was), BB King's, NYC
8. Rodney Crowell and the Outsiders/Will Kimbrough and Jedd Hughes, BB King's, NYC
9. Robbie Fulks, Mercury Lounge, NYC
10. The Yayhoos, Lakeside Lounge, NYC

Best CDs (again, no particular order)
1. Slo Mo, My Buzz Comes Back
2. Marah, If You Didn't Laugh, You'd Cry
3. The Avett Brothers, Live, Vol. 2
4. Rodney Crowell, The Outsider
5. Daddy, Live at the Women's Club
6. Maybe Pete, Between the City and the Stratosphere
7. Adrienne Young, The Art of Virtue
8. Jimmie Dale Gilmore, Come On Back
9. Shooter Jennings, Put the "O" Back in Country
10. Robbie Fulks, Georgia Hard

Adios, 2005. Good to see you go.